So if you have kept up with my blog in the last month then well, I guess you've realized that I haven't posted anything. Some of you are probably wondering why and some of you already know why. So first, I'm sorry that I haven't really been updating for those people who actually do read my blog. Second, the explanation.
I got here in high hopes that soon five of the kids that I love as my own children (I know that's weird, I'm 25 and I really don't know what it's like to have your own child, but I imagine I know pretty well because I don't know if it'd be possible to love more) would soon be receiving for real their very own family AND be close to me in the states, a double win. However about a week after I arrived I went to go visit MIMDES with my mother to talk about the adoption process she's doing for two girls here at the orphanage (sorry mom if that was still wasn't out of the bag). That visit didn't go so well as I finally got to talk face to face with the higher ups and they told me that the adoption would not be able to go through. This news flipped my world upside down. All my plans that I had, all my happiness pertaining to the kids, gone in just one sentence from the mouth of the government lady.
So this past month has been a hard one. Calling everyone I could, lawyers, politicians, higher-ups etc. And still we have two lines in the water hoping for a bite but it's just not looking to promising. I still haven't told the kids because of the faintest possibility of it working out, and that is what is killing me the most. I just want it to be over, preferably in the favorable manner. So far my coping strategy has been shutting down, not talking to anyone and not wanting to leave the kids for one minute. Sorry if I haven't talked to you in awhile.
So, I know I've said this in the past a lot but I'll try and post more often again. It might just be good therapy. Plus a lot has happened in the last month unrelated that I'm sure you guys would be interested in knowing, so stay tuned.
